Surround yourself with support.

We live in a world where people preach that we need to support one another yet we are surrounded by people that are still trying to put us down and stunt our growth and belittle our success. A lot of times we don’t even realize that we are being influenced by such people as we still think that because of their closeness to us that they must still want the best for me and that their thoughts and comments are continuing to be made in our best interests.

That notion is far from true.

Support begins with someone looking at you for who you are and supporting you in making decisions that, though they may be hard and not what we want to hear, are in our own best interests. As humans we are in a constant state of growth. We face changes, we struggle, and we should always be attempting to do our best. People that we surround ourselves with should be understanding of this and should take the time to be a part of that influence in a positive way. However, we are always going to be faced with people that though they think they are good friends and positive influences in our life they will allow us to fail by not supporting the actual goals we make for ourselves. As a friend you can’t tell someone that the choices they are making are always in their best interests just because those choices that are being made in that momement are making them happy. Especially when we know that those aren’t the right choices for them and are going to fill them with regret and remorse later on.

Don’t get me wrong there is no changing someone’s free will.

However, if you spend time talking with your close friend about how they need to quit shopping, start eating healthy, increase their exercise, or cut back on partying and then at their weakest moment enforce, promote, or justify their reasoning for why they suddenly need to buy that purse or go balls to the wall binge drinking then you are not supporting their growth. Say something like “Everyone has a momement of weakness, you’ll get back on track” or “try not to let your stress triggers mess up your goals”. You should not reinforce something that you know is a struggle for that person. We DON’T promote things that will bring the people we love harm.

This doesn’t mean we should condone them for their weaknesses either.

We are human. We make mistakes. We struggle. No one said life was easy.

As we are going through life working on reaching our goals and life aspirations we are always going to have setbacks, moments of weakness, and times where we go back on everything that we said we would never do. We make decisions that will hurt us, and the ones we love around us because we are human. We are always battling the changes and goals we make for ourselves when we are tying to break habits and become better people. The people around us should support us. We should have the influences of people that care about us that will try to keep us on the right path even when we stray from what we really want. We should always be trying to be better. We should be better for God first and foremost, better for ourselves, better for our husbands and wives, and better for our family and friends.

In the pursuit of bettering ourselves, the people that surround us should be supportive in our undertakings and goals and help guides us to our destination. They should not promote our setbacks but should show excitement and support for what we have or are working on achieving.  

The take away:

 

• Get support and be supportive.
• Everyone has his or her own battles and goals.
• Success is found in your desire for change and in the support system you’ve built around yourself.
• Encourage and celebrate the people that you love!

 

 

 

 

Disclaimer: This is a heavy one and it is based solely on my Christian beliefs.

As some know I am planning my soon to be wedding to what I would hope will be a life long marriage with the man of my dreams. That being said all marriages and relationships will face many different trials and tribulations. However, there are many aspects that make up a marriage that are important in maintaining the sanctity of what marriage is supposed to be in the eyes of God.

1 John 4:12: “No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.”

My outlook of marriage is a union blessed under God. To have a healthy marriage and relationship under God we should be a union of three in our relationship. The three that make up this union are God, my soon to be husband, and myself. Through all things God should be placed number one in our hearts and our marriage. For us a marriage without God is irrelevant as we are Christian believers and we believe that God put us together as a part of his plan. God needs to be a main focus in our marriage.

Ecclesiastes 4:12: “Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.”

The next premise is that we should be putting the needs of our partners next in line. I am not saying that we should forget our own needs, but we are to become a union, a partnership, and one entity. Taking part in vows make us go from being two individuals to one single union. In this union we need to focus on putting our partners needs before our own. Focusing on God should be the first priority in the relationship and then we should place our partner needs before our own. The sanctity of marriage is based on this premise; which in today’s world, it is sometimes more challenging for couples to put each other’s needs before their own.

Genesis 2:24: “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”

Taking a relationship through to the next steps means becoming one. We have to take the steps to remove our selfish ways and focus on the needs and desires of our partners. If we view a marriage for what it is, the becoming of one flesh, then we need to prioritize and be fully aware of our partners needs and hold them at a level of being just as important as our own. We need to prioritize our needs as a couple to recognize how our decisions, actions, and ways of life are influences our marriage. Once vows are taken and a marriage has taken place couples need to continue to work at their marriage to make changes that benefit their union. It is always going to take work. Every couple is going to face trials and a tribulation along the way but it is pertinent that we are putting each other first. As a soon to be wife I should put my husbands needs before my own and as a husband he should put my needs before his own. As a couple married under God we should put each other’s needs in a unification to work on meeting our needs together as one.

Romans 12:10: “Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.”

Marriage is devotion, a vow, and a journey with God that will take us throughout the rest of our lives. As we work to lose our selfish ways and to view each other as God views us by putting our partners needs first we will be constantly moving forward into a better and stronger marriage. That being said, in marriage we are always going to have our struggles. There are going to be times where we are mad at one another, we will be selfish, we will witness, and live through trials and tribulations. Knowing that marriage is the union between God and us, we should know that we still have to have compassion for one another in knowing that both he and I will make mistakes. We will act out in selfish ways and do things that will hurt one another, but so long as we make the effort to work on the areas that are causing our conflict we can get through with God on our side and in our relationship.

Ephesians 4:32: “Be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.”

Marriages will be tested. Marriages will be hard. Husbands and wives make mistakes. The important thing to take from this is that to make a marriage last the rest of your life we need to understand the sanctity that comes along with building a strong and happy marriage from the eyes of God. In our marriage we will most definitely face trials and tribulations. By facing these together as one union and working to right our wrongs and stray from our selfish ways we will strengthen our union in marriage. We will make mistakes, we will make changes for each other, and we will love and forgive.

Ephesians 4:2-3: “With all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.”

Worship God, Take Vows, Put Each Other First, Face Life’s Obstacles, & Enjoy Life’s Blessing As Husband & Wife.